Saturday, 20 August 2011

Rise of the Planet of the apes Review

The apes are here! This is a review of "Rise of the Planet of the apes" (Completely stupid name) by a person who hasn't seen anything planet apes related so here it goes...
Now apes basically wake up one day and say "man ... F*ck these humans for enslaving us" and they start tearing humanity down. When I ever imagined an "ape-pocalypse" I thought it would be mad, they would be pulling our hairs and biting our ears off (only if they have an ape version of mike tyson). But noo... the apes are smarter than us, they plan stuff properly and try to get what they want with maximum planning and minimum mayhem. Its totally amazing and caught me by surprise.

Now lets be more proffessional, the movie begins in a lab with a <SURPRISE> science. The scientist makes a medicine of somewhat which can cure brain diseases including cancer and so he starts testing it on an ape. He tests it on her and finds out that the medicine not only fixes diseases but makes the ape extremely intelligent.. the medicine would not have the same effect on humans sadly. Something happens... ape dies and man has her baby with him. The baby carries his mothers genes which had the intelligence due to the gene. The baby ape now grows up with this scientist and becomes a part of their family. The film is written and directed in such a brilliant manor that I actually really wanted to spend more time with the characters in the movie. There is a part in the film in which you see the ape "Ceaser" stop loving humanity and start hating it due to their treatment of him. When that part came, due to the brilliance of the film and its special effects I really felt bad for Ceasure and got so emotionally attached to him.

The film carries you across it in no time, keeping you entertained at all times! Even though this is an "Ape-pocalypse" do not expect massive explosions and 'bloom, blaws'.. The movie focuses more on the characters and makes you like and understand them. When Ceasure put his hand (paw?) up and roared I actually said in my head "go on Ceasure, these humans treated you like sh*t.. get your freedom!". It's actually mad how much you will understand the ape's feelings even though he has little to no dialogue in the movie.

The actors also did a tremendous job as that women from slum dog millionaire and green goblin from spiderman did their absolute best acting and were quite convincing. Tom Felton.. well he was Malfoy from Harry Potter ...always a sneering d*ck, I'm surprised they didn't call this Harry Potter 9 The Malfoy Chronicles. One actor I absolutely loved was Andy Serkis as he did the role of Ceasure the monkey. This man was so freaking convincing and kicked major as* (the same way he did playing golem in the Lord of the Rings).

One more thing to add here.. you know that Tom Felton? that sneering Malfoy that Harry Potter never got to beating the absolute sh*t out of (well kinda). Just wait and watch Harry, just wait and watch this movie... these apes do in their first movie what you couldnt do to Malfoy for 8 movies. Watch and learn... chosen one? pfff

The only flaw I could find in this movie is the CG looks a little hokey at start and the name of the movie sucks but other than that, this is one of the best movies i've ever seen!

By the time the movie ended I checked my watch and said "Whaaat!" the time flies extremely fast and you just wish you could see more! Its an amazing movie and hit me by total surprise. I freaking LOVE this movie! its sooo damn good I wanna see it again... i wanna glue a tv screen to my eye lids so i could watch this in my sleep. This sh*t is goood!!

I give Rise of the Planet of the Apes 10 Intelligent Monkeys out of 10



  1. The old ones are great! You can't beat Charlton Heston. Marky Mark and Tim Burton botched their foray into the franchise, but this one looked surprisingly well done and cohesive. I think I'll wait till it releases on DVD and rent it, but I have great expectations especially after reading your review.

  2. I really feel so good that I my review gaev you high expectations! Wow Thank you ... It truly is amazing.. I have not seen the originals but I might just now.